- "Love is like a punishment"
- "Diamonds are a girl's best friend"
- "I don't get mad, I just get even"
- "Pauly Shore is the perfect man"
- "Why do good girls always want bad boys"
- "Don't gasp at the predictable
A comforting lie can't last
Pre-ordained checklist of this awkward love
It's so sad"
- "I'm not your carefree
like the gum on your shoe
I'm not the ring 'round your finger
Nor am I wrapped around you
I'm not your shoestring
So don't tie me in a knot
I'm not your asphalt
With oil spots
Don't use me as a parking lot"