Midnight Insanity -- Fan of the Month

Audience Member Of The Month Questionaire:

Name: Amy

Nick Name(s): Aimez, Metallica, Sancha, Slooot, Poptart

DOB: 9/10/83

What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?: I dunno, but if I worked at the DMV I’d sure have fun with this one. Maybe I’d put “Chartreuse/Vermillion” just so the poor chump would have lots of explaining to do when he got pulled over.

Sex: Three guesses and the first two don’t count.

Sexual Preference: I’m so straight I can’t even float.

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?: It should be. Except then what are you supposed to do, arrest the guy and hold his other personalities without due cause?

Marital Status: Depends on who’s asking and how cute he is.

How Long Have You Been An Audience Member: About 2 years.

Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?: I could care less. Or maybe I couldn’t care less. Is it flammable or inflammable if it’s just plain FLAMING?

Favorite Color: Red

Favorite Character: Tough call. Maybe Rocky, just ‘cuz he’s the most fun to watch.

Who Do You Fantasize About?: James Hetfield, Brett Scallions, Anthony Kiedis, Rob Thomas, and a whole harem of nonfamous guys who probably have no idea I think of them like that-and I’d just as soon keep it that way.

Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?: You mean it’s NOT??? OH, SHIT, WHY HASN’T ANYONE TOLD ME?!?

Tell Me What You Want, What You Really Really Want: Well, now that I’ve found an apartment (yay!) I’d have to say a corset. I tried on a really expensive one in a department store once, just for shits and giggles, and suddenly understood why, despite the discomfort of having a vise clamp on your kidneys, this was a daily fashion staple for Western women for over half a millennium. (Visual aids can be so helpful.)

Do Your Parents Know You're Here: My mommy helps me dress up on Lingerie Nights.

I'm So Goth ... : I’m so goth I was going to hide a dildo in my teacher’s desk, but decided I needed it more (take that, Marilyn Manson!)

If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?: So we have someone to help, otherwise we’d have no purpose in life and would spend our days just eating, sleeping, and fucking, and...oh, wait...

What's The Meaning Of Life: In the immortal words of Kurt Vonnegut, "We are here to fart around." Amen.

E-Mail: I’m working on that; it’s going to change soon. Die, AOL, die!!!

Homepage: Ha! You think I’m computer savvy enough to make a HOMEPAGE?!? I still have a DIAL-UP connection, for God’s sake! I don’t use the internet, it uses me!

Comments / Quotes:

The opposite of bravery is not cowardice but conformity.
The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it.
If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let’s all get wasted and have the time of our lives!