Fan of the Month

Poptart *July 2004*

Audience Member Of The Month Questionaire:
  • Name: Amy
  • Nick Name(s): Aimez, Metallica, Sancha, Slooot, Poptart
  • DOB: 9/10/83
  • What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?: I dunno, but if I worked at the DMV Iíd sure have fun with this one. Maybe Iíd put ďChartreuse/VermillionĒ just so the poor chump would have lots of explaining to do when he got pulled over.
  • Sex: Three guesses and the first two donít count.
  • Sexual Preference: Iím so straight I canít even float.
  • If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?: It should be. Except then what are you supposed to do, arrest the guy and hold his other personalities without due cause?
  • Marital Status: Depends on whoís asking and how cute he is.
  • How Long Have You Been An Audience Member: About 2 years.
  • Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?: I could care less. Or maybe I couldnít care less. Is it flammable or inflammable if itís just plain FLAMING?
  • Favorite Color: Red
  • Favorite Character: Tough call. Maybe Rocky, just Ďcuz heís the most fun to watch.
  • Who Do You Fantasize About?: James Hetfield, Brett Scallions, Anthony Kiedis, Rob Thomas, and a whole harem of nonfamous guys who probably have no idea I think of them like that-and Iíd just as soon keep it that way.
  • Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?: You mean itís NOT??? OH, SHIT, WHY HASNíT ANYONE TOLD ME?!?
  • Tell Me What You Want, What You Really Really Want: Well, now that Iíve found an apartment (yay!) Iíd have to say a corset. I tried on a really expensive one in a department store once, just for shits and giggles, and suddenly understood why, despite the discomfort of having a vise clamp on your kidneys, this was a daily fashion staple for Western women for over half a millennium. (Visual aids can be so helpful.)
  • Do Your Parents Know You're Here: My mommy helps me dress up on Lingerie Nights.
  • I'm So Goth ... : Iím so goth I was going to hide a dildo in my teacherís desk, but decided I needed it more (take that, Marilyn Manson!)
  • If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?: So we have someone to help, otherwise weíd have no purpose in life and would spend our days just eating, sleeping, and fucking, and...oh, wait...
  • What's The Meaning Of Life: In the immortal words of Kurt Vonnegut, "We are here to fart around." Amen.
  • E-Mail: Iím working on that; itís going to change soon. Die, AOL, die!!!
  • Homepage: Ha! You think Iím computer savvy enough to make a HOMEPAGE?!? I still have a DIAL-UP connection, for Godís sake! I donít use the internet, it uses me!
      Bend over, bitch!
      Me: Thank you, sir, may I have another?
  • Comments / Quotes:
    • The opposite of bravery is not cowardice but conformity.
    • The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it.
    • If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then letís all get wasted and have the time of our lives!

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