Poptart *July 2004*
Audience Member Of The Month Questionaire:
Aimez, Metallica, Sancha, Slooot, Poptart
What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?:
I dunno, but if I worked at the DMV Iíd sure have fun with this one. Maybe Iíd put ďChartreuse/VermillionĒ just so the poor chump would have lots of explaining to do when he got pulled over.
Three guesses and the first two donít count.
Iím so straight I canít even float.
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?:
It should be. Except then what are you supposed to do, arrest the guy and hold his other personalities without due cause?
Depends on whoís asking and how cute he is.
How Long Have You Been An Audience Member:
About 2 years.
Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?:
I could care less. Or maybe I couldnít care less. Is it flammable or inflammable if itís just plain FLAMING?
Tough call. Maybe Rocky, just Ďcuz heís the most fun to watch.
Who Do You Fantasize About?:
James Hetfield, Brett Scallions, Anthony Kiedis, Rob Thomas, and a whole harem of nonfamous guys who probably have no idea I think of them like that-and Iíd just as soon keep it that way.
Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?:
You mean itís NOT??? OH, SHIT, WHY HASNíT ANYONE TOLD ME?!?
Tell Me What You Want, What You Really Really Want:
Well, now that Iíve found an apartment (yay!) Iíd have to say a corset. I tried on a really expensive one in a department store once, just for shits and giggles, and suddenly understood why, despite the discomfort of having a vise clamp on your kidneys, this was a daily fashion staple for Western women for over half a millennium. (Visual aids can be so helpful.)
Do Your Parents Know You're Here:
My mommy helps me dress up on Lingerie Nights.
I'm So Goth ... :
Iím so goth I was going to hide a dildo in my teacherís desk, but decided I needed it more (take that, Marilyn Manson!)
If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?:
So we have someone to help, otherwise weíd have no purpose in life and would spend our days just eating, sleeping, and fucking, and...oh, wait...
What's The Meaning Of Life:
In the immortal words of Kurt Vonnegut, "We are here to fart around." Amen.
Iím working on that; itís going to change soon. Die, AOL, die!!!
Ha! You think Iím computer savvy enough to make a HOMEPAGE?!? I still have a DIAL-UP connection, for Godís sake! I donít use the internet, it uses me!
Bend over, bitch!
Me: Thank you, sir, may I have another?
Comments / Quotes:
The opposite of bravery is not cowardice but conformity.
The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it.
If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then letís all get wasted and have the time of our lives!
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